I realized this past Monday night during the Chargers/Steelers game that the 4 major professional sports leagues were all in action at the same time. Somethings definitely wrong with this. I can understand that for many sports gluttons this is like an all you can eat buffet at the Sizzler. As for me, I just can't get excited about watching Dwayne Wade and the Heat in October when the baseball playoffs are in full swing and John Madden is expounding on the merits of making sure a receiver is beyond the 1st down marker on a crucial 3rd down catch. December? Maybe. October? Not lighting my fire.
Is it just me or does anyone else think the NBA and NHL seasons are excruciatingly long? The NBA's and NHL's pre and regular seasons run 9 freaking months. I don't even start paying attention to NBA standings until February. And don't get me started about the NHL. The only time I check in on them is when the NHL finals start. On that note, are we still allowed to call the NHL a major sports league? I'm somewhat uncomfortable with this. If I were to compare these leagues to my high school class back in 1990 it would go something like this:

- the NFL is the good looking, all state athlete, who was cool no matter what he did. All the chicks wanted him, guys idolized him, and the teachers even asked him for autographs. Mothers schemed ways to get their daughter a date with him and he enjoyed Ferris Bueller type adoration. The only one who doesn't see what all the hype is about is the bitchy english teacher who thinks sports should be outlawed in school (this would be akin to wives who hate football and who have never tried to understand it or their husbands who watch it...ahem...I hope my wife never reads this).

- the NBA is the good looking sports star who gets in trouble, is pretty much a jerk most of the time(Stephon Marbuy, Latrell Sprewell....I could go on but I won't), but is still sexy and amazing to watch play sports. Chicks still dig him (although the ones that have any common sense only flirt with him and never date), guys still want to be like him (or at least would like his ability and looks), and school administrators let his grades and attitude slide sometimes because they want that state championship. There is always a sense of guilt with this kid because you feel like he could be doing so much more.

-MLB is the guy who is in the cool group but he's not that good looking. He still gets chicks but it's because of who he hangs out with and the fact that he is good at sports. This is the guy who has cheated (steroids) on exams, quit the team and been let back on because he apologized (strike year 1994), and yet somehow you still like him. At times he can be dull and boring, but just when your ready to give up on him, he does something eyecatching, interesting, or spectacular (A Bonds at bat, the Wild Card race, playoffs etc.). You find yourself remembering how amazing this guy was in the past and how exciting he can be when he gets it going. Plus if he can get chicks with his looks then maybe there is hope for you.

-The NHL is like the guy on the wrestling team who is somewhat delusional. He thinks his sport is the coolest because their state championship trophy is the biggest in the trophy case. He mistakenly thinks he is hanging with the cool kids when actually they are laughing behind his back about his mangled ears, his funny looking leotard uniform, and the fact that his weight fluctuates like Anna Nicole Smith. His sport will never be followed or respected like the other 3 but he is totally oblivious to this. Nobody watches his matches and even though the school makes no money off tickets for his team's events, he thinks they should get all new equipment, uniforms, and a new gym built just for them. He tries to get the chicks but they just laugh in his face.

When I look at it this way I realize there is no way we can call the NHL a major sport. If it doesn't work in the High School Fiefdom model then it doesn't work in the real world. .......on second thought how does this model explain my coup with the wife I have. My status in high school should have ensured either a life of vagrancy (and possible uni-bomber type apparel) or at the very least, marriage to someone looking like Joan Rivers. As it is , neither happened and I married way above myself. Hey maybe there is hope for the NHL.

All is right with the world

 I'm in shock. The Yankees are not in the World Series for the 2nd straight year. I was dead wrong about their chances. I really thought their offense would break out for 8 or 9 runs at least once in these past two games. It didn't happen and even though they won game 4, 3 runs wasn't enough for them in game 5. Once again the prayers of the righteous have been answered. The Evil Empire goes down again. Hallelujah! Can I get an Amen for those Angels? Here's hoping Goerge Steinbrenner goes crazy and fires Joe Torre tonight, gets drunk, hops the red eye to Vegas, and gambles away next season's payroll. Hey we can dream can't we?

Ram's Rant

Imagine what the Baltimore Ravens could do with the Ram's offense. Or what the Rams could do with the Ravens defense (and as long as we're swapping, can the Rams trade Martz for anybody?. Seriously anybody. That annoying Burger King mascot will even be ok with me) ----After writing this last sentence I clicked on ESPN's website and learned Martz might be gone 6 weeks due to his health. While I hope personally for Martz to rapidly return to full health for his and his family's sake, I do think the Ram's game management will improve. Still I feel a little guilty for the joke above. Ok... not too guilty but I had to say it. Anyway, back to the point. It's sad to see teams that are good or great on one side of the ball and terrible on the other. You're always left with that bitter "what if" taste in your mouth (sort of like what Eagles fan face with T.O. ---"What if T.O. wasn't an absolute jerk and we could honestly root for him to do well this season" That kind of thing.) ........ If the Ram's defense can't even play average, then there is going to be many more sundays like yesterday. Bulger's and Holt's stats will be great but the losses will pile up.

And as long as I'm on my soapbox, I'll throw my half a cent in on the Marshall Faulk situation in St. Louis. I know Steven Jackson is your starter but it might be wise to get Marshall some touches. Two weeks ago Faulk had only 6 carries and gained 50 yards. That's an 8.3 average! In the two games since he has carried the ball just 3 times and 0 times yesterday. He has looked quick this year and by no means ready for the rocking chair. I think Martz has taken Faulk's acceptance of a backup role to mean he can sweep him under the carpet. Despicable treatment of a guy who's been the face of the organization for a long time now. If he was showing signs of losing it (ala Eddie George in his last couple of years with the Titans) then I could understand, but the reverse is true. Faulk has shown flashes of his old self. We'll see how things go but I hope to see Marshall on the field on more than a few 3rd down situations.

Some other thoughts on week 5:

 --Come to think of it, Bronco fans have experienced the Griese experience with Jake Plummer as well (it's been rough since Elway retired). Although this season, with the notable exception of Jake's porn star mustache, Plummer's looked pretty good. The Broncos are 4-1 and sitting pretty in the AFC. The next 3 weeks are brutal though with the Patriots, Giants, and Eagles on deck. Word of advice for Jake: shave half the mustache off and freak out the D-linemen.

--Did Terry Bradshaw really make the comment that it was time for Brett Favre to hang them up and let the organization move on with Rodgers? I caught the end of segment where Greg Gumbel alluded to something like that. Some of these analysts like Bradshaw should have "BANDWAGON" tattoed to their foreheads. Bewteen the Bengal (Carson Palmer) Bandwagon and those ready to jump ship on Favre, I feel like the many of these so called "experts" forget that the season is not decided by week 5. The Packers are not a good team but neither is anyone else in the NFC North. It's not out of the realm of possibility that they could come back and win this division. It's a longshot but then again we were saying the same thing about the Packers in Week 5 of last year.

--I loved Dan Marino's comment to Bommer Esiason yesterday when Boomer tried to relate Alex's Smith's first half debacle to something all first year QB's experience. Dan shut Esiason up (no easy task) by saying "I never had that experience". It's true, Marino's rookie year was a thing of beauty and the only guy in recent memory to do anything close was Roethlisberger with the Steelers last year (even then the stats are no comparison). Hopefully Alex Smith gets better and not worse (David Carr sighting here) in the next couple of seasons. .....by the way Esiason and Marino provided last year's tv comedy moment when Marino gave Boomer the stare of death after Esiason called Payton Manning "the Dan Marino of this generation". And no it wasn't a compliment. He was talking about playoff inefectiveness. Good stuff. If there weren't these kind of idiots on pre-game, post-game and halftime shows, I wouldn't even be watching. Keep up the good work Boomer!

--Speaking of tv idiots, I have to watch Sunday Night Football with the sound turned down because of Joe Theismann. It's too bad because Paul Maguire really gets descriptive in those replays. ...in an ode to ESPN's Bill Simmons who does Maguire very well, here's a Maguire replay for you: "see this fist right here Joe? See that? Watch this, watch this right here,...watch me knock your head in and shut you up. Bam!" ---Ahh. the sweet sound of silence. I am already getting the mute button ready for Monday Night Football next year when Joe (all knowing, name dropping) Theismann joins Al Michaels in the broadcast booth.

--Memo to Drew Bledsoe: Don't rip one of your guys for losing the ball when one of the main reasons you were kicked out of your two previous cities was for commiting turnovers. As well as Bledsoe played yesterday and as much as I dislike Keyshawn, Drew was out of line for yelling at Keyshawn (give me the damn ball) Johnson yesterday. It really was a pretty good hit and sometimes those type of fumbles happen no matter how well you are holding onto the ball. Even with Bledsoe's 10-3 touchdown interception ratio (a real surprise), he's got no room to talk when it comes to coughing up the ball. Just ask Tom Brady why he's starting in New England.

Patriots=Clutch

 I could not believe what I was hearing this week from NFL analysts on the boob tube. ESPN's NFL Live guys were talking about the Patriots possibly not making the playoffs after the loss to the Chargers. Are you kidding me? Have they been watching this team the past 2 seasons? As long as Tom Brady is still at QB then this team has to be the Super Bowl favorite. I don't care if they barely squeak into the playoffs (squeak?, it won't even be close, look who's in their division), put your money on Brady and Co.

 The fact is, there are a lot of people who are sick of the Patriots or who absolutely hate them (raising my hand). This leads many to look for any excuse to write them off. This is a huge mistake. This is the greatest clutch team in history. Not the greatest team, but the best team consistently when the game is on the line. Adam Vinateri is money in the bank and Tom Brady is on par with Joe Montana (it's not blasphemy if it's true) for the greatest clutch QB in history. And comparing him to last year's MVP Payton Manning is not even an issue right now. He reads the defense as well as Manning and he is quicker to make the decision that the deep man is not open (this is where Manning still struggles. He want's so bad to make that deep pass that he either throws a bad pass or waits too long to get it to the safety valve man.) . Thus, when the game is on the line, Brady makes the right passes. He doesn't force things very often (and when he does, he is so accurate that he gets away with it) and finds the areas where the defense is soft. Trust me, it pains me to give this team and Brady this much credit. I can't stand them or him. They are like the New York Yankees (it kills Boston fans to have these two teams lumped together) for many NFL fans out there: They always win and there is nothing anywone can do about it (although the league has done their best this season--Note the Patriots and Colt's schedule. This league would kill for a Colts/Falcons Super Bowl. It's the commisoner's wet dream).

Everyone needs to calm down and accept that the Patriots aren't going anywhere as long as Brady is at the helm and Vinateri is kicking for them. I will continue to root against them every week (...trying voodoo dolls this week. Would it be better to stick pins in Brady's doll or just cut the legs off?) but I do so with a fatalistic view.

Anyway, about the Falcons game....I though Matt Schuab played pretty well in place of Vick. He did dodge a few bullets though. He made several bad passes that the Patriots should have or could have intercepted. He won't get away with those very often. But he plays with poise and doesn't really have that deer in the headlights look. Teams will be looking at him in trade possibilities or when he becomes a free agent. The Falcons are a good team and will be dangerous in the playoffs. It remains to be seen if they can knock the Eagles off when playoff time comes around. It would have been nice to see what the Falcons could have done with Vick yesterday. Even if you have a good scheme against him, he's unpredictable enough that great plans go out the window sometimes. I still would have bet on the Patriots. Did I mention that I'm fatalistic?