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The Armchair Quarterback


 Cap, Uniform, & Coporate Tatoos are on aisle 10
 

 

-As I saw ESPN's airbrushed pic of an emasculated Johnny Damon today, I wondered what would happen if the "Boss" and Johnny talk in the near future. I imagine something like this:

Damon-"Yo, George, hows it hanging?"

Steinbrenner-"how's what hanging?"

(awkward pause)

Damon-"thats cool dude, thanks for the cash. Hey how about we forget about this whole haircut, anti-beard vibe you got going on here?"

Steinbrenner-"Mr. Damon I'll see you on the field this spring."

Damon - "Wait man, ...hey I just wanted to say I think your an idiot"

Steinbrenner- "Excuse me?" What the hell did you just say?"

Damon-" it's cool, I'm an idiot too. It's a compliment dude."

(Steinbrenner walks out the door with a face as purple as A-Rods lips.)

Say this for the Yankees, they're not boring. I just can't figure out their clubhouse though. Could you find a better collection of guys that have less in common with each other?
Posted by The Armchair Quarterback at 12:14 PM - No Comments   Add a Comment  
 

 NFL Thoughts: Week 15
 

I like college football and all but I don't mind the fact that when it's on break for a month, I get NFL action on Saturday, Sunday and Monday. That's a festivus for the rest of us.


I'm still under the gun at work to complete a huge project before the end of the year. My time for writing in this blog is sparse so again just a few thoughts this week.

 

--So congratulations to Lovie Smith for doing what many of us have been calling for: --give Grossman a shot when he gets healthy. Anybody who watched their game knows that when Grossman was in and there was a 3rd and long, there was actually a shot for a 1st down. It's the weirdest thing in the world for a 1st place team's fans to go ballistic when the backup QB comes into the game. If that doesn't sum up how bad the Bear's passing offense has been this season, I don't know what does. Grossman will throw more interceptions than Orton (in large part because they may actully throw it more) and it may cost them a game at some point. But how is that any worse than their offense costing them a game by not scoring? Grossman is not the second coming of Manning or Brady but he gives the Bear's offense something it hasn't had all season. Hope

--Vick looked about as uncofortable in the cold weather as I've ever seen from a QB. Horrible game.

 

--If it sets up as predicted the Jags will play the Patriots in the first round of the Playoffs. To me this is the easiest game of the year to call. Brady is the best QB in the NFL. Yes even bettter than Manning. It pains me to state this because I can't stand him, his coach or his team but If I've got to have clutch quality play from a quarterback in a crucial game, I'm taking Brady over Manning any day of the week. I've been saying it for awhile now but I think the Pats are still the most dangerous team standing in the Colt's way to the SuperBowl (especially since I don't think the Chargers will even be around for the postseason) . I'm still picking the Colts but I'm not sure it's out of conviction or just because I can't stand the thought of the Patriots back in the SuperBowl.



--Kudos to another Utah State guy (my Aggies are few and far between in this league so I've got to plug them when I can) , tight end Chris Cooley from the Redskins who scored 3 TDs yesterday. He's had a nice season for Washington.


--Speaking of Utah State guys, the Rams second leading receiver, Kevin Curtis had better hope Ryan Fitzpatrick doesn't play another game this season for St. Louis. After week 11 Curtis had 48 catches for 678 yards. Since then, the rookie Fitzpatrick has taken over at QB and Curtis has had only 6 catches in 4 games for a total of 82 yards. 56 of those yards were in that crazy Houston game where he took a short receiver screen pass and won the game for the Rams in OT. What a waste of an offensive weapon.



--teams that surprised me this week: the Redskins, Texans, and the Jets (they lost but played tough against a decent Dolphin team)



--teams that didn't surprise me this week: the Chargers, Bucs, and Falcons.



--The Seahawks are winning and are the top ranked team in the NFC right now, but isn't it ridiculous that if the Chargers (who most likely won't even make the playoffs in the AFC) were in the NFC they would be without a doubt the odds on favorite for the SuperBowl. That doesn't say a whole lot about the conference.

Posted by The Armchair Quarterback at 5:48 PM - No Comments   Add a Comment  
 
 Necessary Roughness?
 

 

So Jacksonville Jaguars defensive players Mike Peterson and John Henderson were fined some cash for their excessive roughness penalties last week against the Colts. Which of course they are probably pissed about. I mean who likes somebody taking money out of your wallet. Peterson's feeling is that the Colts get preferential treatment, which may or may not be true. I'm not in the mood to research whether other defensive players have been fined the same amount (or at all) for these types of penalties. What I found hilarious and ridiculous was Peterson's comments about it. Said Peterson, "It was like, 'Indianapolis comes to town, now all the fines come out.' I hate all these fines and how they're changing the league around." "You can't even play the game the way you want to play it now."

--and the way he wants to play the game apparently is to cheapshot guys after they're down and twist their legs in an attempt to injure them. Nice. --I actually think Peterson is a great linebacker. A bit demented as that quote suggests but who doesn't like a little splash of crazy in their middle linebacker? ---Probably the Colts
Posted by The Armchair Quarterback at 5:47 PM - 1 Comment   Add a Comment  
 

 When we said "World" we didn't mean you!
 

Our Treasury department has decided the Cubans won't get to play in the World Baseball Classic citing policies regarding Cuba and Castro. On the flip side if the Iraqis actually had a baseball team they could send one now. If the Cubans really want to play in this thing they better ask us nicely to come invade and oust their dictator.
Posted by The Armchair Quarterback at 6:41 PM - 1 Comment   Add a Comment  
 

 Tuesday Sports Thoughts
 

Some quick thoughts today

1. Michael Vick may not ever live up to his hype but since I'm not a Falcon fan or Falcon hater I don't care. I still tivo his games.

2. Warrick Dunn is the other reason I watch Falcon games. That and to see if I can catch a glimpse of Jim Mora going back on his promise to abstain from the smelling salts. "just a quickie guys, just a quickie!...ahhhhhhhhh ...damn thats good."

3. Did Pat Riley pull Stan Van Gundy into a dark room with a single lampshade hanging over the table and say, "It's your choice on what you want to say at the press conference but know this...your done." Or did Stan just know that conversation was coming and he decided to save himself the sight of Riley dripping hair grease as he hovered over him. Either way, he was pushed out. I'm not saying Riley shouldn't be the coach. His pedigree is longer and better than Van Gundy's. Lets just be honest about why he's taking over. I haven't seen this much political manipulation in the NBA since....well....since Larry Brown.

4. Ron Artest is certifiably insane. Lets take a quick look at the past year and a half of his life through his eyes.

-Last year your team was being touted as a championship contender and you are seen as one of the best all-around (defense, offense, rebounding) players in the game. It's only logical then to mention to the Pacers and the world that even though the season has just started you are going to need a month off. Burnout is real baby, and you would be better off the second half of the season if you could take some quality time now to rest, relax and you know...promote a rap album. Cause your business ...no not basketball business....your real business...."Tru Warier" records (check it out you won't regret) really needs you.

-the next step in the how to win friends and influence teamates playbook is to go apeshit on some Detroit kid in the stands who just soiled himself as you prepare to take his head off (never mind that it's not even the guy who threw the cup at you.....speaking of which, do you know how dangerous those cups are? don't get me started on this...the paper cuts those things can cause are legit). The bonus part is you get some time off now and a good buddy (O'Neal) to hang with. The Pacer's season is screwed but "Tru Warier" records is off the hook.

-Now you are playing again and the Pacers are seen again as a legitmate contender. Your ability to excell in so many aspects of the game evokes faint comparisons to your boss Larry Legend. People tell you that you need to lay low this year, just play hard and your image can be rebuilt. Image? You're Ron Artest and Tru Warier records is the "shit", so what's to rebuild? Too much negativity in Pacerville baby. A change of scenery and people who understand a "tru warier's" needs is what the doctor ordered.


Ron Artest is not a bad guy. He's just freaking crazy. NBA players, they're fannnntastic!
Posted by The Armchair Quarterback at 1:13 AM - No Comments   Add a Comment  
 
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  About Me
Author: The Armchair Quarterback
From Utah, USA
Age: 36
 
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