Rams/Texans

I almost turned this game off at halftime. I couldn't take it anymore. My Rams were playing their usual defense (none) and some bad breaks were going their way (did you see backup QB Jaime Martin's glazed eyes?). I kept the game on and lucky for me it became a Ram classic. Can I say that about a Texan game? Part of me still thinks the Rams can make the playoffs, so in my warped reality even a victory over Houston qualifies as a classic.

--So Fitzpatrick (Harvard guy...I'm not sure how I feel about that) comes in and proceeds to ---make some pretty good throws and some plays with his legs (offensive linemen don't know where the hell he is when he does that..they've never seen it before). Bruce and Holt become his go-to guys and he hit them in stride many times. My favorite receiver Kevin Curtis is not even getting a sniff of a ball...but considering this is a rookie and Curtis is playing slot in this game which makes him the 3rd read on most plays, I'll shut up. Down 10 with less than 30 seconds to go, Bruce catches a 4th down and 6 - 30 yard TD catch that silences the Texan crowd. Meanwhile I'm going nuts and my wife peeks in to give me one of those "you know your a total retard right?" looks.

- Now even though Fitzpatrick played out of his mind, my game ball goes to Jeff Wilkins for kicking the perfect onside kick (a rarity) that was recovered by Holt (update: I've now wet my pants and I don't care). You know the ensuing field goal is going to go in and I'm pretty sure even though overtime hasn't been played yet, the Texan fans know they're screwed.

In OT Fitzpatrick gets the ball to Curtis (finally) on a short WR screen and Curtis makes a nice move to leave a Texan safety (and jockstrap) as well as the rest of their defense in the dust (remember this was the guy that's not that fast according to offensive genius Neil O'Donnell). Game over. I know give thanks for the hospitality of Houston. My wife comes in, sees me passed out, proceeds to give me mouth to mouth resuscitation...I tell her I'm not in the mood and spaz out again. It's been a long season as a Ram fan and will most likely be longer still, so dammit I deserve this.

-Now on to the rest of the league's slightly less intriguing games.

Seahawks/Giants

Wow. This is a different year for Seattle. Never mind that the Giant's kicker gift-wrapped this sucker for them by missing 2 makeable (that 54 yarder was a bit out of range, so I won't count that one) field goals to win the game. These are the kind of breaks that never used to fall the Seahawks way. Now some are saying this didn't prove much for Seattle because they really should have lost the game. But I say, are you kidding? They have got some of what the Pats had the last couple of years. Some clutch play when it counts and some pretty lucky breaks. Don't knock luck, I can't remember too many championship teams that didn't dip into the charmed well a few times.
-one last note: did you see the replay of Shockey on the sideline doing the "you know it" "you know it" dance as Feely misses one of the game winners, only to realize in mid-dance that something just went horribly wrong. He turns towards the field with that "what the #$*%" look. Kodak moment. Someone needs to get this footage for him as a stocking stuffer.



Bengals/Ravens

I now watch the Bengals because I love to see an explosive offense. How much do these guys remind you of Indy last year(including the defense)? I'm not on the bandwagon but I sure like to trot alongside and watch the fun.


Bears/Bucs

Can the Bears win the NFC in January with their offense? It's a valid question. After what the Bears defense did on Sunday, can Chris Simms sleep at daddy's house tonight? Equally valid.

Saints/Jets

I don't know what I'm more surprised with: the fact that both Brooks and Bollinger had passer ratings over 100 for this game or that I actually watched part of it. It's a toss up.

-Curtis Martin reached 14,000 rushing yards for his career in this game. Though he's never got the pub, he's a hall of famer and the stats will speak for him when it's time.

 
- New Orleans savior Aaron Brooks on the win: "We're proud of getting a victory...breaking a six-game losing streak is the best feeling this team can have at this point." -- No kidding. This has to be one of the most uninspiring post-game quotes I've ever read.

Patriots/Chiefs

I didn't catch any of this game. Only saw the highlights and was stunned to see Brady overthrowing guys and getting intercepted (4 times!). Bad games for Brady are like eclipses, they happen every so often and you better get a good look while you can.

Chargers/Redskins

Brees and Gates played their worst games of the year and the Skins still can't beat the Chargers. Tomlinson had a little something to do with that. That and the fact that the Redskins suck.

Panthers/Bills

So Carolina was everybody's hot pick a couple of weeks ago for the Superbowl. If the trendy thing in the NFC is going to be tough defense and low scoring games, then stop the bus, I want to get off.

Vikings/Browns

Nothing. I've got nothing.


Titans/49ers

Ditto. Wait...nope..nada.

Packers/Eagles
Favre played badly but so did many other Packers. It's time for Green Bay to face reality. They haven't hung on to any free agents the past few years, they haven't drafted well, and Mike Sherman isn't going to be given football genius status anytime soon. Favre isn't a pro-bowler this year but he's not the reason this team is in the running for Reggie Bush.

Jags/Cardinals

-I've watched the Jag's Garrard before and been impressed with him as a backup. Can he do it again and for more than a couple of games? Leftwich might be out a while so if Garrard falters and the Jags lose any of their creampuff games left (minus Indy of course) then maybe the Chargers can sneak up on them for the Wild Card spot. Thinking about Arizona's game last week with the Rams where Bulger went down, I'm starting to think the Cardinals defensive coordinator is telling his players, "you know what guys, we suck ,so just go out and kill their QB. Why should we be the only ones that don't trust our quarterback?"

Dolphins/Raiders

Frerotte had a passer rating above 90 for this game. Nick and Jessica have broken up. What the hell is happening? Oh wait...Collins still sucks. Whew! I'm not crazy. ---I still don't recognize Ricky Williams on the highlights. He looks as skinny as Tiki Barber. I thought getting off weed was supposed to increase your appetite

-LSU, Miami, Notre Dame, & Texas all won but none of them looked great doing it. Still at this time of year I'm not sure any team should feel bad about a win, no matter how ugly. It's tough to make it through the season without some hiccups. Notre Dame's close call though gives a little more ammunition to Oregon supporters like me who think money shouldn't rule the decision on major bowl games.....yes I still believe in Santa Claus, why do you ask?

-Nevada is not a bad team (8-3) but Fresno State's run defense is
as soft as my favorite quilt (I love that thing!). I'm guessing Nevada has similar feelings of affection for Fresno's "D" as they dashed their way through holes the size of Rhode Island (261 rushing yards given up). Suddenly Reggie Bush's near 300 yards against the Bulldogs, while still incredible, isn't as superhuman as it seemed.

-I know that Florida lost some key games this year but they beat
Georgia, Tennessee, and Florida State. Now, none were as good as pre-season hype led us to believe, but they are hated rivals. Doesn't that buy Urban Meyer at least a year before Gator fans torch his house and sell his wife and kids on e-bay?

-Oklahoma and Nebraska fans can also call off the dogs as both teams got badly needed aesthetic victories. Neither was awful this year, but a 6 win regular season just wouldn't have cut it for these former Big 12 powerhouses. Prior to the Callahan experience, wasn't Frank Solich run out of Nebraska for eking out 9 wins? The nerve of that guy!

I just want to again say how much I love the technology of Tivo. I can watch four full games in the time it would take to watch one. It's a marriage saver. Some thoughts then on some games I watched and some that I just caught highlights of:

Rams/Cardinals
The Rams were lit up by the Cardinals. Their defense is so bad it's painful to watch. I do think the Rams would have hung with the Cards had Bulger not gone down (again). He was having a nice game and when he got hurt every Ram fan watching as well as every Ram player (including backup QB Jamie Martin) thought to themselves, "oh sh--, we're screwed".
Warner had a good day, which must have felt nice against St. Louis. Don't get used to it Arizona fans. I'll always be a fan of his because of what he did as a Ram but the thumb injuries and and some bad habits have made Kurt into one of the most unreliable starters out there.

- Who's brilliant idea was it to sign former Super Bowl loser Neil O'Donnell (Yes Neil was the loser---the Steelers did not lose that game to the Cowboys) on as color commentary dude ? Nobody did a test run with this guy before he was hired? Unbelievable. As I'm watching the Ram game, I listen to the two broadcasters and think to myself, "who's the guy that sounds like he's as intelligent as Anna Nicole Smith? " When I find out it's O'Donnell, I thought, "oh ok, that makes sense". Absolutely no real analysis of anything. Just observations that my 3 year old could make and some flat out stupid and ignorant commentary. Commenting about Ram wide-out Kevin Curtis (9 receptions, 98 yards) after he made a couple of catches, Neil quipped, "he's not the fastest of guys", then made the point that he was much like former Ram "possession" receiver, Ricky Proehl. He made this point a few times in the game, still telling us that Curtis wasn't very fast but had great hands. If O'Donnell had done any homework for this game or watched any Ram games before this, he would know that Curtis is one of the faster guys on the entire Ram team and one of the fastest wideouts in the league. My memo to Neil: Hey dumb ass, just because you're a slow white guy, that doesn't mean Curtis is too. --If O'Donnell does any Jacksonville Jaguar games in the future, he'll be sure to tell us how Byron Leftwich is not a very good pocket passer but he's one of the better running QBs in the league. Pure stupidity and ignorance really bug me.
ok then. moving on.

Seahawks/49ers
Being a Ram fan, I could make some kind of comment about Seattle almost losing to San Fran. But then I would have to point out that the 49ers played other teams pretty tough as well and in fact beat the Rams. I don't need to be that honest with myself.

Buccaneers/Falcons
I think Vick is playing pretty well but (and I apologize for sounding like a broken record here) the way he holds the ball (away from his body and many times down near his hip)while in the pocket (and sometimes out of it) leads to a lot of fumbles. Sometimes it doesn't hurt them, but against the Bucs it did.

- Carnell Williams seems to have gotten his legs back this week. It will take a lot of stress off Simms if that continues. They've got a brutal schedule left though with home games against Chicago and Atlanta and road games against New England and Carolina. You'd like to think that the two Saints games they have left would be gimmees but New Orleans has been playing Tampa pretty tough the last few years.

Dolphins/Browns
Two things on the Dolphins. 1. Their running backs are pretty decent. 2. Their quarterbacks--not so much. - They were just shut out by the Browns. Pass the Maloxx Nick.

Jaguars/Titans
I really like the Jaguars defense. They make the plays when it really counts. Nice game for Leftwich. He's tough, doesn't make a lot of stupid throws, and plays pretty well in the clutch. The Jags look like a lock for a wild card spot.

Lions/Cowboys
Harrington wasn't at his worst or his best. Same with Bledsoe. I'm glad I didn't watch this thing.

Saints/Patriots
The Pats may have a few scares like this or even a loss or two before the season ends . But as long as Brady stays healthy, they'll be ready to make some noise once the playoffs start.

Raiders/Redskins
Lamont Jordan wanted the ball more. He's getting it (27 carries) but not doing much with it as this game proved (52 yards, 1.9 avg.).
- The Skins bubble is bursting. I think they're done as far as the playoffs go but they could still be a spoiler for someone else's hopes.

Colts/Bengals
I was impressed with the Bengals offense after watching this game. Palmer is looking good but I want to see him have a few more games like this against good teams before I am a total believer. His stats are awesome though. It's not the Bengals fault that their schedule is full of creampuffs. Next year it will be tougher and we'll get a better idea of really how good these guys are.
-the Colts just keep cruising. I never thought I'd endorse anything resembling "Marty" ball but the Colts would have been better off getting a little more conservative at the end of each half. They try to drive with only a minute left and that leads to the interception and score for the Bengals in the first half. They had a two touchdown lead and suddenly it's only a one score game. Then at the end of the game they are again throwing on all 3 downs when it would have been better to at least run on 2nd down and get some time ran off the clock. As well as the Bengals played it shouldn't have been as close as it was.


Jets/Broncos
I wonder if Denver apologized before the game to the Jets for what was about to occur.

-If your car situation at home was like the Jets quarterback situation it would go something like this:
Your (insert favorite kind of car here) that you thought was going to be so great turned out to not be very durable and in fact with all it's engine problems you are going to have to reluctantly junk it. Then your backup car is totaled in a parking lot but your not totally bummed because you were never very excited about driving it anyway. At the salvage yard you see a car that you used to have a few years back. It gave you some good memories and you thought, "what the hell, it still runs and maybe it could get me from work and back." After trying it out again you soon realize that it's breaking down also and really wasn't as good as you remembered. There was a reason it was sitting in the salvage yard.
Your getting a big desperate now and the little scooter you have in the back of your garage is not going to be too fun in the winter. But what else are you going to do? So you pull it out only to find that it goes about 5 miles per hour, has wobbly steering and can't take the potholes. It's soon out of action as well.
What's left? Well.....Your daughter's bike with training wheels and streamers coming out of the handlebars is going to be awkward and humiliating to ride and you have to hope your fat ass doesn't pop the tires. You use gas money to buy some lottery tickets hoping to hit the big one so you can ride in style again someday. Ladies and Gentlemen: your 2005 NY Jets.

Chiefs/Texans
I'm sure Larry Johnson never wanted to see Priest Holmes injured but I'll bet he's not wasting any time worrying about it. LJ is getting all the carries now and his 211 yards against the Texans solidified his tenure as K.C's number 1 from now on.


Chargers/Bills
Drew Brees is making any management decision that might move him out of San Diego after this season very unpopular with the Charger faithful. It will be interesting to see if he can play as well if Gates isn't back from injury soon. If he plays this way the rest of the way, I say they find a way to keep him, and Rivers is the one packing his bags.

Eagles/Giants
Manning and Barber got back on track. The only question is which questionable team, the Giants or the Cowboys will falter down the stretch? Dallas' schedule looks slightly tougher and the law of averages with Drew Bledsoe may catch up to them. On the other hand I don't think the Giants defense is as good as the Cowboys.
-Stick a fork in the Eagles. They're done.

Steelers/Ravens
I think the Steelers have proved my point that a QB can be the difference between being a good team and being an average team. In case you were wondering, Tommy Maddox makes the Steelers an average team. -I'm surprised Randle El didn't get the nod at halftime. What I'm really surprised with is that Maddox once had his own cereal named after him. I'm pretty sure if kids in Pittsburgh tried this stuff now, they would be saying, "hey mom, these Tommy Gun Flakes suck."

Seeing this cereal box got me thinking though. What other football players have had their own morning snack named after them? A quick look revealed an odd assortment of players who all have something in common: They aren't the superstars of the league (I guess those guys get the cover of Wheaties) but they are players who have or had a loyal following and are known for being tough and/or scrappy. I guess come morning, you don't want to bite into a spoonful of pansy. Anyway, here's a sampling:


- Mike "Alstott's A-Train Express"- seems like a better name for a laxative than a cereal.




-Doug Flutie's "Flutie Flakes". The name is simple and catchy. Keeping them on the spoon is another matter. (They're slippery little buggers).




-Ed McCafferty's honey nut toasted oats called, "Ed's Endzone". Check inside the box, you may have won dinner with John Elway. Call Ed (not John) for details.



-Wayne Chrebet's "Chrebet Crunch". Odd foreshadowing of things to come. And just a note on Chrebet's career if he is done for good---I thought this guy was one of the best recievers to ever play in the city of NY.

Panthers/Bears
I'm trying to decide which is more frightening, Kyle Orton's beard or the Bears' defense. It's the beard, but not by much. The defensive lineman had 8 sacks in this game. That's unreal. Their defense is so good that they are winning games in spite of their offense. Reminds me of the Ravens a few years back. Can the Rams have Lovie Smith back yet?

Packers/Vikings
How many times have we seen that look on Favre's face this year? You know, the one he has at the end of the game and the Pack are going down in flames. Yeah the same one he had against the Vikings as another field goal sails through the uprights and hands Green Bay another heartbreaking loss. He gives that little shake of his head and blank stare of disbelief. It's hard to watch. I'm a sucker like many, who want Favre to do well. I used to hate the Pack when they were winning in the mid 90's. As I watched Favre a little more and began to appreciate him with his humor, enthusiasm for the game, laid back style, and gunslinger mentality, he began to grow on me until I was transformed from a Packer hater into a casual fan. I know the media and many others (including me) give him a free pass when he should be roasted just like other QBs that have bad games or bad seasons. But it's because he's a good guy and people can relate to him more than they can guys like T.O. and Bill Romanowski (jerks). Most people genuinely like Favre and when you get to a Hall of Fame level and are likeable many are going to be hesitant to look for flaws. I'm not saying it's right. I'm just saying it's human nature. His praise to criticism ratio is definitely a bit skewed. You know what? I'm not losing sleep over it.